First Look: Kiki's Delivery Service

Kiki's Delivery Service is owned by Ghibli...I think.

Oz: The great and Powerful

We're off to see the... no. Not doing it. Too obvious. Oz the Great and Powerful came out last week and how could any Kansan not notice?  How could it be ignored? Even though we try.

What does it say about societal trends that even the archetype of an ugly villain must have cleavage? Does this bother anyone else?

So in case you have been living under a rock, or if somebody reads this thing who does not hale from Kansas, a little  back story. The wonderful wizard of oz was a children's book written by author L. Frank Baum in 1900. This is not it's most popular incarnation. The Oz franchise in known almost solely because of the 1939 MGM movie The Wizard of Oz. It was a landmark, it changed the industry and ensured that the only defining characteristic of a Kansan is that you can quote the movie ironically at them until they're ready to pour mo;ten hot lead into their ears. Fun fact, at the time the movie was considered a flop, not even coming close to a return on it's budget. However, thanks to re-releases and TV showings, it has become one of the most enduring movies ever made. So much so that it has never been remade. In eighty years, Hollywood who are so short of ideas that they greenlit a battleship movie, have not had the stones to even touch the movie. With so much untapped potential in the form of around a dozen sequels to the original book, obviously the natural solution was to make a prequel. Of course!

Millions of dollars worth of cg to recreate cardboard, paint, and dry ice.

What's the plot? Well assuming that you're familiar with the 39 movie here we go. MOST USELESS SPOILER EVER!!! The wizard from The Wizard of Oz was of course a fraud. So how did he come to be? He was merely a simple magician and conman with a traveling circus in Kansas. Due to whackiness, he is whisked away to the mystical land of Oz in his hot air balloon. There he meets three witches all with their own goals and agendas which he will have to figure out in order to keep up appearances and lead us into the original. Will he dupe the witches? Will he dupe himself? Being a prequel the answer is obvious but that's as maybe.

Get it? Chinatown? Lol

So how are the technical's? Despite the previous jab at the CG, the movie's strongest aspect is that it is so very pretty. There are good chunks of scenes where you won't be looking at the characters but instead at the scenery. The 3D was also top notch as most of the colors in the movie are bright, making the 3D actually watchable unlike the previous Alice remake and Pirates 4. The direction was solid and the sound design was decent. You can tell it's directed by the Sam man. The whole thing reminds one of Army of Darkness in a way.

Would not guess that the witch would hang out near waterfalls, and why are Mila and Rachel staring at us?

James Franco is odd as the wizard. Not exactly bad, just off. Plus he has a really odd expression when he has to smile. It's rather off putting.
Mila Kunis is strange as well. Not entirely sure if that's not the point and everything is supposed to be off and unnatural but as it stands she's too eager.
Rachel Weisz is decent as scheming Evanora, though being very British is wierd when everyone else has a normal accent. Normal being Kansan.
Michelle Williams does a good job as Glinda. She works the kindness and hopefullness very well.
Zach Braff is Zach Braff.
Joey King probably does the best as a little china doll who will either steal your heart or annoy you to no end.

Couple inches closer and this would be a very different movie.

So is this a good movie or a bad movie? Sorry couldn't resist. Well as a whole, it cannot escape the shadow hanging over it. Everything that even touches the Oz name has huge expectations on it that they can never live up to. Even the things that are better will never dethrone the champion. That being said, this movie is hard to gauge as a whole. There are chunks of it that are really good, and chunks that drag and suck. The opening scene in Kansas for example is really good. As is the introductory scene of the china girl, The scene where we get our first hint as to who the Wicked Witch of the West is, is also well done though it raises more questions than it answers. To derail for a moment, the marketing of this movie really played up the which witch is which thing though if you paid any attention to the trailers it is obvious who it is. I shall not spoil though suffice it to say it doesn't work. The design is bad, the makeup is distracting and the actress though a good actress, does not have the inherent character to pull this off. There are just some people who can't work the screaming and yelling angle and this is a good example of that. Also the character if the wizard is probably the worst part of this movie. He's flat out unlikable as he continues to be a jerk and makes horrible decisions that he never solves or learns from and in retrospect it makes his actions in the original movie incredibly questionable.. So overall, it's hard to gauge. Trying to be unbiased is nearly impossible given the source material. This is a prequel to the movie by the way, not the book. In wrapping up, the things that are good are good enough to make it worth your money.

I thought fire got rid of witches!

See it if your from Kansas. You have an obligation too and there's no say in the matter. Or see it if you love visuals at expense of story.
Rent it if your an Oz fan but are hesitant.
Skip if you hate the source material and every incarnation of it sense.

Don't know what movie's coming out this week so it'll be a surprise.

Notes:
-This movie might have sexist undertones. Just saying.
-No ruby slippers, what kind of prequel are you?
-You CG'd the witches arm?! We can't even just paint a woman green nowadays!
-There are many references to other Oz works if you have a sharp eye.
-Oz is kind of awesome for the fact that he shuts down a musical number that almost occurs.
-People say that the flying monkeys from the original are scary but these guys win out if only because it give the impression that in an actual fight these things are brutal. Like neck snapping and intestine ripping brutal. Not kidding.
-Seriously movie? No explanation for the whole acid water to the witch thing? You're a prequel, that's your job to explain things!

Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters

Let's sit here for a second and appreciate that title. It's just too glorious isn't it? Inherently stupid maybe, but no less inherently awesome. Funny side note, many foreign posters have been used for this blog and the reasoning behind that is foreign posters on the whole are usually much, much better than American posters.

It's like the poster is trying to be 3-D

Not too much history to this one really. HGWH is coming off of a trend rather than a specific idea. Take a classic fairy tale and ramp it up to 11. Modernize it or actionize it, add some explosions and boom we have a pitch.

Our stars reaction to the script

Tale as old as time, blood that runs like... don't know how to end that. The story begins as the fairy tale does. Hansel and Gretel are taken out into the woods by their father and are subsequently abandoned. Stumbling around the forest cold and starving, our two siblings stumble upon a gingerbread house. They go in and are immediately captured by an old hag. Before they can be devoured in a delicious pie or whatever, they escape and burn the witch. Instead of this being the end of the story, Hansel and Gretel scour the world hunting and killing witches, but when a small town in coughcoughemberg comes under witch attack, the heroes need to discover their own past in order to overcome and old threat.

How do they... anything really?

To start off with, the 3-D is actually very good. That is to say fun 3-D not atmospheric 3-D. Blood, bullets and arrows come flying at the audience with some frequency. Doesn't justify the extra cost but if that doesn't bother you it's one of the better 3-D movies. The direction was decent throughout with lighting that is dark and moody which fits great with the film's tone. The effects are fun as a good majority of them are done practically. The makeup and design on the witches is especially fun to see, and you'll find yourself scanning through the crowds to pick out the different designs. The action scenes suffer from a touch of shaky cam but are actually fairly inventive and unique, being able to play with the witches powers and the siblings weaponry which is awesome in and of itself, though fairly anachronistic. Truly it would make a good drinking game to take a shot every time something appears in the movie that wouldn't be invented for another century. It would be wrong to call the acting good, but it fits in a movie with such a premise. Jeremy Renner is always a great action lead and makes a good counterpart to Gemma Arterton's Gretel who gives the best overall performance of the flick. Famke Janssen's villain Muriel is actually quite intimidating though she is non unique as villains go.

Digging.... for VENGEANCE!

In order to enjoy a movie like this, you have to go in with a certain mindset. If your looking for a blood splattered good time, this movie is great. The punchlines are funny, the action is great, the story actually takes risks now and again and the characters are classic. (In that they're from a classic, not actually classically good.) To make a comparison, this movie shares a lot with the tone of the 2012 film Iron Sky, a film about space Nazis from the moon. Let that idea sink in. Anyway, whereas that movie had a ridiculous premise too, it actually grew past it's original idea with messages about the current socio political state of the world. Hansel and Gretel on the other hand never grows past it's premise. It is what it is and that is a movie in which flying witches are sliced apart by steel wire strung up between tress shown in loving detail. It won't change your life, but you'll have a great time watching it.

Too cool for explosions I see

Go see it if you haven't seen a good R rated action flick in awhile
Rent if you don't want the 3-D gore
Skip if the idea is too silly too you

Notes:
 -The opening seen with the adult siblings is basically the Monty Python witch sketch played straight.
 -Twilight has forever made a woman calling out for "Edward" hilarious.
 -2013 and we still can't make broom flying look dignified.
 -Actually the movie's definition of a witch seems odd. They're more like the Evil Dead demons than witches
 -Seriously, there's an action scene with a Gatling gun. Oh the inaccuracies!
 -Is it bad that the movie makes us root for pre industrial revolution witch hunters? Is that questionable?

I saw another movie that day and... yeah...